i am currently watching “Super Soul Sunday” on the OWN network. i am inspired. i am inspired just because.
absolutely no reason in sight but in heart. i am inspired to love. i am inspired to write. i am inspired to be free.
today on Super Soul Sunday the well known poet, Maya Angelou speaks. she speaks about God, she speaks about One, she speaks about All. She speaks about Spirit. i find myself on this spiritual journey to understand and learn my own true purpose in life.
i was told by my therapist that life is a “school”…a school of learning ..a school of connecting.. a school of being. i didn’t understand her true meaning but on this rainy Sunday morning ,I get it. i found myself going throughout life constantly resisting the inevitable which caused me to not really live in the moment…not really experience life and resist the desire to just “be” while using all 5 senses-touch,taste, see,hear,smell to enjoy.
meditation,writing,art and this spiritual journey are those things that is helping me stay grounded..helping me to be bold, fearless, let go, love, feel and be.
as i watch “Super Soul Sunday..this quote has struck that “aha moment” with me. for a while i have kept many parts of me deep down within myself: almost denying who i am. i now have an understanding that being open..being you regardless of all that it entails..is what is important. i now have made the choice to allow myself the permission to be vulnerable. i am not perfect. i find myself feeling scared. i am afraid of failure and at times success. i am an artist. i am the youngest of 5. i have random heart conversations with my deceased grandfather,Daniel. i dream this life of travel and art while meeting and loving amazing individuals. i feel pain. i feel joy. i feel hesitant. i feel life.
i play “roles” that’s expected of me: sister, daughter,friend, artist, african american woman, aunt, protector, provider, lover, giver, employee,etc. all i am is me…Amanda. i have learn that fighting what reality really is ..causes the most suffering.
i am willing and ready to be open…be expressive. share my needs,desires,wants.
i have learned that no one wants to be vulnerable because of fear. no one wants to let go of all inhibitions because of the fear of being judged. but at the end of the day all you have is self.